[NTLK] OT: Customers, was: Einstein and Xcode 4, problems with Cocoa graphics calls, HELP NEEDED.

Lord Groundhog LordGroundhog at gmail.com
Wed Sep 12 07:36:59 EDT 2012

~~~ On 2012/09/12 10:05, Matthias Melcher at mm at matthiasm.com wrote ~~~

> ...
> Among the other things I do (you know, those that pay the bills), I support a
> beer garden and restaurant. The stuff you hear, the complaints, the attempts
> to get a free meal, I have started to collect those.
> Not to say that complaints are always wrong and shouldn't be taken seriously,
> but very often, just by the kind of complaint, it;s easy to tell that the
> client didn;t invest any time into figuring out, what's wrong, or considering
> that it may be a local issue, or give a chance to fix the issue befor
> publishing minor stuff to the world.
> The most common one is this one:
> "The beer/wine is bad. I won't pay." (After finishing the entire half liter
> glass/bottle).
> "There is not enough salt in my salad. I want a new one, and I won't pay
> either one of them."
> "The salt kernels from the salt mill are too big. I want e refund on the
> meal." (with a designer mill where you can change the kernel size to ones
> wishes)
> "We have freshly shot deer." - "I assume it's shot. I don;t want strangled
> animals." ("freshly shot" as opposed to having been in the freezer for months
> - ah well).
> "How dare you! There was ham in the salad. I am a vegetarian! The french fries
> were great though." (we have special salads for vegetarians, but we have to
> know at time of order. We would never sell French Fries to a vegetarian,
> because they are fried in animal fat, as they are everywhere...)
> "You serve mushroom from White Russia? Are you crazy? Didn't you know that
> White Russia is part of Tschernobyl? I won;t pay anything of what I have eaten
> and make you liable for my cancer treatment." (actually, Tschernobyl is part
> of White Russia, not the other way around. It's like saying that the USA is
> part of NY, but eh, whatever. Oh, and the radiation in mushrooms outside of
> Tschernobyl is no higher than the rest of the world)
> A customer had a bit of sauce under the plate. This can happen when carrying
> more than one plate stacked on the waters arm. We apologized, took the dish,
> warmed the food, rearranged on a new plate, returned the plate with an apology
> and a free desert for both at the table. Result: a review on facebook ripping
> us to shreds on how dirty we are... .
> Or downright silly stuff:
> "I want to talk to the owne, I don;t like that waiters shoes."
> "I want another table. I don't want to be served by a waiter with tattoos!
> That is unhealthy." (46% of Germans have a tattoo somewhere on their body.
> Here, a tiny tip of a butterfly wing was showing through a blouse)
> Or the completely unnecessary stuff:
> "All bottles were bad" (An elder lady begged us to deliver a case (six
> bottles) of cheap cooking wine (2,20 Euros pre bottle) to her door step for
> free. After a week she called us to exchange the box for a new one. After
> driving there with a new case, the driver discovered that all bottles she
> returned were empty. And no, he did not leave another case with her - they
> probably would have all been bad as well.


I have to thank you for this.  Today's Wednesday, and not a particularly
good one for me (I'd explain but there's no way I could describe this
morning that would make it as entertaining and funny as what you've posted
so I'll spare everyone).  But this has just perked me right up.  I don't
mean to laugh at what you have to put up with; it's just that the cumulative
ridiculousness of what you have to put up with had me helpless with
laughter.  It also reminded me why my only job in a food establishment was
very short-lived, and how I realized I wasn't cut out to work in men's

So once again thank you.  Even if the afternoon goes as badly as the
morning, I'll be grinning like an idiot for the rest of the day.

Now then, I'm very upset with you.  None of your waiting staff will come to
my table to serve me. NONE of them!  What kind of establishment are you
running?!  I've sent the Western Union boy in there EIGHTEEN TIMES with
directions to my garden in Oxfordshire, and every time he reports back that
they all refuse to serve me!  What kind of beer garden are you running if
you won't even deliver beer to my garden?!

I expect immediate service of your finest non-alcoholic beer.  With egg in
it.  And no, I won't be paying for any of it;  I expect you to refund all
the fees and tips I had to give to Western Union and that messenger boy.

Now then, to start my review for "Places NOT To Eat,com"...



~~~ ~~~ ~~~

³Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a Newton.²
            -- ref.:  Arthur C. Clarke

(With thanks to Chod Lang)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Fight Spam.  Join EuroCAUCE: http://www.euro.cauce.org/
Get MUGged and love it: http://www.oxmug.org/
Join today: http://www.newtontalk.net/

More information about the NewtonTalk mailing list